Letter to Socialist Party members
Perhaps my actions confuse you, perhaps you think I’m too harsh with my comrades, perhaps you doubt if sexual assault is sufficiently serious to merit expulsion when specifically requested by the survivor / victim herself. I don’t know all of your perhaps or buts yet I will do my best to address any concerns you have about me or my intentions r.e. recent events in the Socialist Party concerning the E.C. and myself over a series of letters I will write to you all.
At every stage since I’ve gone public I’ve tried my best to state my political position clearly – I’m a firm supporter of the C.W.I. and I hate NOT being a member – nevertheless misunderstandings are possible. The most effective form of communication is verbal, face to face discussion, which does not share the drawbacks of the written, electronic form. In marked contrast to my many comrade friends and supporters from the party rank and file, the Socialist Party LEADERSHIP stopped contacting some time ago although I’d fought hard to remain an active member up until mid March this year, despite the difficutlies I was experiencing with the Welsh leadership. This is why I took the path of internet campaigner as I was effectively blocked out by my comrades.
Whilst I’d privately discussed with close confidants the possibility I might resign at certain points of high personal distress (e.g after I’d come back from a Congress during which the majority of welsh comrades chose not to speak to me most of the time – as if I was no longer a fellow comrade even then) but NEVER seriously entertained leaving the party I’d dedicated myself too and to an intensity and degree which meant some friends, co trade unionists and workmates struggled to comprehend. Perhaps you can relate to this last bit at least.
Until the E.C. decided to allow Les to pursue a formal complaint against me as if we were no better than each other, sexual predator and attacker with the same rights as party member as me, his survivor or if you will, victim. This is the reason why I resigned and stopped taking part in the Appeals process which several comrades have raised with me privately since.
The E.C.’s decision to publicly suuport both Les and Steve Hedley is so fucked up I remain amazed at otherwise supportive party comrades who continue to argue I should have participated in this farce, no matter the huge distress it would cause to me.
Yes, the SP Appeals Committee may well have ruled in my favour and yes it’s theoretically independent of the E.C. (the SP Appeals Committee is elected from rank and file party members annually at congress – I voted for them all this year as a delegate from Cardiff South branch) but the point is this:
By the time I recieved Hannah’s long email to me which she addressed to fifty Socialist Party members I was exhausted, back in depression and anxiety after recent progress and at my lowest point yet. I do not know even how to convey the depths to which this letter pains me right now, nevermind when I first read it on the Monday night. I could no long take it anymore – this has been eleven months of my life already and I want my life back now. Unfortunately for this long life marxist communist socialist feminist revolutionary, my best chance of recovery is outside the party I had hoped so much I could help lead in struggle, perhaps this situation could change sometime – I dearly hope that this is possible,
Les is not solely responsible from my problems or ‘woes’; rather his assault was one assault too many when I was already in a diffcult place at the time following a relationship break up and a mentally abusive and bullying male house mate who I had the misfortune to live with at the time of Les’ assault (now gone). And yeah, he was a socialist too. Just FANtastic, eh?
Likewise Les will not stop me surviving him and recovering so I can once again return some of my energy to active socialist struggle yes, but above all, leave this shit behind and be a stronger, wiser and more rounded person and comrade,
In solidarity and struggle,
Viva La revolution